The Pasty, Cars, and Cider

I'm here to debunk three myths about traveling across England.

Myth #1: the English can't cook. All I've ever heard about English cuisine is that the cheese is great, but the food is bad. The latter must be a rumor started by a French chef. For example, the English have honed the simple Shepherd's Pie to a fine art--it's not your mom's shepherd's pie that consisted of browned hamburger meat spooned out over canned green beans and covered with instant potatoes. No. They begin with sliced carrots sauteed so that there's still just a hint of snap. Add three types of mushrooms, sliced red potatoes, and fresh green beans. Large pieces of lean pot roast nestle down amongst the veggies, and the whole pie is covered with garlic and parsley, whipped potato. Ladle on clear, brown gravy and serve with a fresh salad. Mmmmmmm. If beef isn't you dish, try the fish and chips. Sure, you've heard about this staple of the English diet, but you can't imagine what I mean. Seaside towns like Berwick-upon-Tweed, Portsmouth, or Bristol have access to cod fresh from the Atlantic or the North Sea. The other day, after having skipped lunch because a tour went long, we ordered the "Large Portion" of cod for dinner at a fish house. The 13-inch-long piece of white cod that arrived was an inch thick in the middle. No one who has ever stooped to eat a meal at Long John Silver's could complain about such a meal. Ah, but then there's the pasty! A pasty is a light, tasty pastry filled with almost anything imaginable--chicken, beef, fish, cheese, onion, mushrooms, sliced or whipped potato, carrots, peas, beans, or any combination of these and more. Almost every rail stop and large underground hubs boast a shop called "The Original Cornish Pasty." These sell deluxe pasties about five inches long and an inch thick, filled with premium ingredients--all for four to five buck each. Every small town had at least two or three pasty shops along its main street: some selling rectangular pasties filled with mashed potato for as little as 65 cents. In Salisbury, we found four pasty shops on one square. As a matter of quality testing, we tried two of them one day, and the other two the next. I never met a pasty I didn't like. And I tried them all.

Myth #2: driving in England is crazy. Well, this one's a little more difficult to discount. As much as I told myself "drive on the left . . . drive on the left," I turned out onto my first street and had to swerve from the right to the left side. I made a second mistake by deciding to pick the rental car up in downtown London, one of the world's most traffic-congested cities. It would have been a simple matter to take the underground to a suburb where a rental car would have been waiting. Live and learn. Actually, driving on the left side of the street isn't the most difficult adjustment to touring by car--it's a combination of the lack of signage and the dreaded traffic circle. The English paint directional information on the street surface. Good idea, you think? No. Circling a "roundabout" at 40 mph while trying to make out a worn highway sign painted on the road surface is a recipe for confusion. Having said all this, once you drive for a week or so, things do become a little easier. The motorways (multi-lane highways are designated "M" for "motorway") are fast and open, and the views afforded by small, country roads are not available any other way. Plus, the cars are uniformly compact, easy to maneuver, and get great gas mileage. Our Vauxhall gets about 43 miles per gallon, and we've been touring countless side roads.

Myth #3: English beer is warm, dark, bitter, and generally nasty. Well, truthfully, I can't say one way or another about this. I'm not much of a drinker, and less so when travelling. Nevertheless, I can say that the English love their cider, and it's very tasty. Only about 3% alcohol, this is a type of drink even an Oakie could love. Almost any fruit is fair game for conversion into a sweet, smooth cider, and most of the small pubs where we stop in the early evening for dinner offer a variety. I do see plenty of dark beers being passed around, but for me, a diet-coke with food and a "small cider" (about half a glass) after dinner makes for a relaxing break.